Saturday Smiles

I came across failblog today and thought I'd share a small sample of its stuff with you. Fair warning: this site is hilarious and possibly addictive; you could easily spend much of your Saturday browsing its many pages.


I don't think Matt and Spencer will be responding to any ads from this fine institution of higher education:


Are you excited by the possibility of visiting this family?


Maybe this explains why I can never find my parking brake:


Now I know why the vending machines at work keep spitting my money back at me:


I hope you weren't planning to eat here tonight:


This city offers the finest in telecommunications technology:


It looks like I won't be eating any Halloween candy this year.



Head over to failblog if you want to enjoy lots of laughs.

W

This past Friday evening, Dave and I were hanging out in our living room when we heard a loud POP! and the lights flashed off. Great. Another power outage. After I finished cooking supper to the glow of a couple of flashlights, and after we consumed that supper, Dave and I decided to go see a movie. When we got to the theater, we checked our options and decided to see the new Oliver Stone flick, W.

If you want the short review, here it is: either rent (or borrow) the DVD, or don't bother watching the movie at all. You won't know the difference either way.

If you want a slightly longer review, here it is:

W is, by far, the worst of Stone's "American presidents" films. JFK was the best, and Nixon falls somewhere in the middle. The film opens with George W. Bush's fraternity initiation at Yale University, then bounces back and forth to tell four stories:

1. the first story recounts W's irresponsible and alcohol-soaked youth, his failed business career, his conversion to evangelical Christianity and his rise in the political arena;
2. the second story documents the process that led to the Iraq War and W's premature (to say the least) declaration of Mission Accomplished;
3. the third story examines W's stormy relationship with his father;
4. the fourth story explores the love story of W. & Laura.

The events that are portrayed throughout the film have been well documented by journalists and authors, so I can't fault the film's accuracy. My problem is that Stone didn't bring anything fresh to the theater - no unique psychological or political insights - just more of the same stuff that has saturated the American media for several years. The film felt more like a documentary than a drama.

The acting was, to be charitable, uneven. Richard Dreyfuss did well in his role as Dick Cheney. He had the teeth-gritting and the snarl down perfectly, and his soft-spoken manner was appropriately chilling. James Cromwell also did well as W's father, whom he portrayed as continually disappointed in, yet struggling to support, his mediocre son. Dreyfuss and Cromwell are two of the most talented actors on the silver screen today and, not surprisingly, they delivered again in this movie. Josh Brolin did not do quite as well in the title role. He successfully mimicked W's gestures and accent, but he did not capture W's personality.

And the women! Oh, man, this is painful to write. I think maybe Ellyn Burstyn did okay as Barbara Bush, but it's hard to tell because she only got about five minutes (I'm being generous) of screen time. Elizabeth Banks presented a pretty Laura Bush with the personality of an empty beer bottle. There's nothing to admire about her performance, period. But, brace yourselves, the worst is yet to come: Thandie Newton's portrayal of Condoleeza Rice was outrageously, pathetically and maddeningly cartoonish. Her performance was so bad that I wondered if she thought she was performing in a Saturday Night Live parody rather than a drama that is supposed to be taken, you know, seriously! If I'd had a gun, I would have shot the screen full of holes every time she opened her mouth. The real Condoleeza Rice must be livid at being portrayed this way. I would be.

The good news is that, by the time we got back home, the power was back on. The even better news is that, now that we've seen W, we won't ever have to do so again.

Escape Plan

Americans who do not relish the thought of living through a McCain-Palin presidency (should it come to pass), have an option: they can move to Canada!

Racism is Just Plain Ugly

The American presidential election has taken an ugly turn recently. Today, McCain was forced to tell some of his supporters that Obama is not a terrorist. When some of his supporters questioned Obama's character and patriotism, McCain was compelled to defend his opponent! He noted that Obama is a good citizen and family man, and certainly not a terrorist.

The video below tells the story about a parking lot owner who erected a sign saying that Obama supporters are not welcomed to park in his lot. Partway through the video, the claim is made that he is trying to inject a little "humor" into the election. This guy had better keep his day job, because comedy is not his forte. Near the end of the video, he comes much closer to revealing his true motivation: he claims that he is offended that Obama is running for president. Offended! Obama is not a perfect candidate, but he's certainly not offensive. He's an intelligent, articulate, accomplished human being. Americans are fortunate to have him participating in our political system. Guys like the idiot in the video below are offensive and embarrassing.



UPDATE: As I browsed the web this evening, I came across this letter that was sent to Obama supporters in Arlington County, Virginia (which is immediately east of Fairfax County):


The text reads:

Dearest Neighbor,

Please don’t take this the wrong way, but a friend has recommended that I reach out to you about a problem that you may be having but may not be aware of: Have you ever considered whether your ostentatious support for Senator Barack Obama is really a disguise that hides a deeply anchored form of racism towards Blac-Americans?

Racism comes in many forms, and there is a significant possibility that your sponsorship of Senator Obama is really an obsessive compulsion to prove to yourself, and to others, that you are not a racist. Have you looked within yourself and examined your motives?

Sure, we can turn it all into a joke, like some have: an Obama lawn-sign is the yuppy status-symbol du jour; a hip and shiny accessory, this season’s iPhone. “But dear, every Volvo in the Whole Foods parking lot has an Obama sticker on it!” – that’s yet another parody of White property-owning affluence as described by stuffwhitepeoplelike.com.

Have you really considered why you are so fixated by Senator Obama? How important was the pigmentation of Obama’s skin in spurring your interest? Do you really believe that he, or anyone else for that matter, is more qualified for the presidency than Senator Hillary Clinton? C’mon, let’s be honest with ourselves; that’s the first step in the healing process.

Isn’t making a big deal of Obama’s skin color just another form of racism?

Unfortunately, Senator Obama and his team have approached this question in a very cynical way. Can anyone really brand former President Bill Clinton a racist? After all he had done for Black people? Well, the Obama campaign did. Can anyone accuse the Rev. Jesse Jackson of being a racist against Blacks? The Obama campaign almost did.

You should be absolutely certain that you are not being carried over to the voting booth upon a guilt trip. You should take this opportunity to look deeply within yourself and ask, “Why did I fall for Obama? Why am I after all that we have accomplished on racial issues, still feeling guilty? Am I an unconscious racist? Am I any better than those who pretend not to stare at an inter-racial couple?

I’m sorry to tell you that voting for Obama does not absolve you of racism, it may even confirm it. You may be besotted by Obama because he’s the least-black, half-Black politician out there. Did you catch yourself thinking that Obama is remarkably “clean” and “articulate” as Senator Joe Biden condescendingly said?

I beg you to visit www.instituteforhealingracism.org and allow the healing process to begin. Cleanse your soul of the last vestiges of racism, and come over to a better world of hope, understanding and self-awareness.

Sincerely and respectfully,

A Clarendon neighbor

That is one of the vilest pieces of writing I've read in years. The writer makes so many assumptions about the psychology and motivations of white Obama supporters that it's infuriating. The one possibility that never seems to enter this writer's mind is that some people like Obama because they agree with his ideas and they don't care one way or the other about his skin color. Racism is a cancer that continues to eat away the American soul. I hope it's not too late to take a very sharp scalpel to this idiocy and excise it once and for all.

Strange Subway Customer

This video is amazing. Security cameras at a Subway shop in British Columbia captured a bear opening the door to the restaurant, snooping around the counter and the kitchen, then leaving the store.



It appears that some bears have figured out how to use door handles! You know what this means, don't you people? We human critters will have to make sure that there aren't any non-human critters watching us when we use tricky gadgets like door handles. They might imitate us and figure out some secret human stuff that we'd rather they didn't know.