This is my latest book review. Dave has been eagerly following my progress in reading the book and writing the review. So, without further introduction, embellishment or ado, let's get right to the review.
Author: Py Kim Conant
Publisher: Hunter House Publishers
Are you a single woman who is ready to settle into marriage? Conant assures you that, if you follow her advice, you can achieve that goal within twelve to eighteen months.
Are you a married woman seeking to reignite the sparks of passion in your marriage? Conant assures you that, if you follow her advice, you can achieve that goal.
The key, in both cases, is to become an American geisha.
According to Conant, the Asian geisha is an independent businesswoman, an entertainer who rarely has sex with her clients, whose job is simply to help men relax and feel positive about themselves as men. She achieves these goals by establishing a pleasing, feminine contrast to their masculinity. When she does her job well, they seek her company, rather than another geisha’s, again and again. Similarly, Conant’s American geisha is an independent, classy, sexy woman who attracts men to her so that she will be able to choose from among several suitable candidates the one whom she wishes to marry.
In Conant’s view, the idea that geisha are submissive and passive is mistaken. Even though geisha are feminine, cordial, pleasant women to be with, they are also women who think and work independently, set goals for themselves and carefully map out the plans they will follow to reach those goals. They are strong women who are capable of thinking and acting autonomously and they only spend time connecting with “good” men who highly value their company.
The first section of Conant’s book deals with developing “geisha consciousness,” by which Conant means becoming aware of one’s self-worth and sexuality as well as assessing one’s beauty and femininity. She cautions her readers not to seek conformity to an unrealistic body type. Instead, she suggests that all women should seek to reach and maintain “ideal” weights for their particular frames. Additionally, she stresses emphasizing one’s most attractive features by careful use of wardrobe, cosmetics and good grooming rather than surgery. She deals with beauty, particularly weight management, in more depth in the book’s third section.
The second section of the book deals with sex secrets that will keep men coming back to one rather than seeking out another mate. In this section Conant explicitly discusses a variety of sexual techniques and emphatically does not recommend promiscuity. Instead, she stresses that a sexual relationship should develop alongside of a companionable relationship that progressively reaches deeper stages. Just as the Asian geisha will only have sexual relations with clients who make significant commitments to her, the American geisha will only have sex with partners whom she is willing to consider marrying. And some may choose to refrain from intercourse until marriage. If an American geisha knows that a particular man is not one she considers a suitable marriage partner, then she should not waste either her time or his in a dating or sexual relationship that will ultimately be futile.
The book’s third section deals with planning for marriage. Conant suggests that her readers should identify and write down specific goals they wish to achieve in love and marriage as well as in their personal and professional development. She further advises them to write down precise attributes that they desire in their mates and emphasizes, here and throughout the book, that American geisha should only spend time with men who are good for them. Since the exact characteristics of a “good” man will vary for different women, they must articulate their relationship goals if they hope to use their dating and courtship time wisely.
This is also the section where Conant outlines fully her “plan” for weight control. This plan is based primarily on self-awareness. Conant does not prescribe a particular diet or exercise regimen. Instead, she advises her readers to monitor their weight on a daily basis, eat sensibly and adopt a moderate exercise program that suits them. Generally speaking, the theme of the entire section is self-awareness. The American geisha is aware of her physical, psychological, emotional and social attributes, needs and preferences.
The final section of the book deals with dating, love and marriage. Conant stresses that the goal of an American geisha is an enduring marriage, not a lavish wedding. Accordingly, she offers common-sense “rules” for maintaining a loving relationship. Some of these are addressed to women, some to men and others to couples. Conant advises that the American geisha’s highest priority, regardless of whether she is a soccer mom or a CEO, is to ensure that her husband is happy and fulfilled in his relationship with her. It is when she keeps this priority in its proper place that the American geisha will be most fulfilled.
Sex Secrets of an American Geisha does not contain any groundbreaking research or new data. Certainly, all of the information contained in this book can be found in dozens of other sources. And Conant is humble and honest enough to include, and recommend, a detailed list of the references she utilized in her research. The appeal of Sex Secrets lies in Conant’s creative ability to take a fairly ordinary body of knowledge and wrap it in the glamorous framework of the geisha mystique. Conant successfully uses this framework to draw in her readers and hold their attention while she offers practical advice. Even though this book is addressed primarily to single women, married women will likely find some useful hints here too. Who knows? Maybe men will enjoy it too!