Sunday, June 03, 2007

World's Worst Excuses for Missing Work

1. Employee was poisoned by his mother-in-law.

2. A buffalo escaped from the game reserve and kept charging the employee every time she tried to go to her car from her house.

3. Employee was feeling all the symptoms of his expecting wife.

4. Employee called from his cell phone, saying that he was accidentally locked in a restroom stall and that no one was around to let him out.

5. Employee broke his leg snowboarding off his roof while drunk.

6. Employee's wife said he couldn't come into work because he had a lot of chores to do around the house.

7. Employee's mother was in jail.

8. Employee's dog swallowed her bus pass.

9. A skunk got into the employee's house and sprayed all of his uniforms.

10. Employee had a bad case of hiccups.

11. Employee blew his nose so hard, his back went out.

12. Employee's horses got loose and were running down the highway.

13. Employee was hit by a bus while walking.


Dave said...

I will keep number five in mind. I think I can get away with that one next winter.

Jenn said...

don't laugh...i've seen #5 and #11 happen

Erik said...

Thanks for these reasons, I have to use them in my collection. By the way, In Rotterdam a few weeks ago a gorilla escaped in the zoo from his "apes island" and attacked a woman who was heavily wounded so she couldn't be in time for work. Later on it appeared that she was a frequent visitor and that the gorilla was her favorite, she always smiled to him and the ape was "smiling" back but she didn't know it wasn't smiling but threatening. Experts declared in the newspapers that many women are attracted by the virile appearance of gorilla males but that the ape only wants them to join their harem and not smile to them.

Barbara said...

gotta love the guy who can't go because he has chores to do!